Aidpage

i have been very busy i have this big problem with my landlord my apartmentthe smell is very bad from some water under need the floor i think it mold im asking them to move me 2 different unit but the asking me to pay other deposit and the rent will go up and the very rude about it and the smell is too much i dont know what to do i looking for place now but me and my baby are good :) and have asked lawyer about my case and he told me that i have to go and see doctor a i have to pay from my pocket to be honest now i cant it hard im saving now :D how are you ?

 in response to shina...   I wanted to touch base as I've been on and off due to flu and then got bronchitis...always seems to happen. I almost made it this year without getting sick...but couldn't slip by those last few weeks.

Anyway, I was trying to catch up with everyone now that I'm not sneezing (allergies) or hacking like a 30yr smoker (bronchitis) and feeling like I'm in a fog. (flu and then meds)

So please let me know how things are going. That little one should be a big one by now. lol They've been known to do that rather fast. lol I still can't believe how big my son Michael got...6' 4 1/2" - I can now figure out where he was putting it all when he was younger. He was saving it up in that black hole of his to grow like a beanstalk!

Take care and enjoy the weekend. Hope to hear from you.

 in response to shina...   Just thought I'd say hi and see how you are doing. It's been rather quiet on the boards and I've been rather busy working on sites.
I'm a writer/designer and ended up snagging a rather good client that will keep me busy and hopefully help me out financially. Since it's on going work, I get so much a month instead of the full payment.
But that's good in a way, I can rely on the regular income.

So, I hope that all is going well with you and you're little gem. Hope that he's eating good so he can grow big and strong. I used to get told to stop breastfeeding cause my gal pals said my boy was just getting huge. When I told him all he got was my milk they teased me and said I had some sort of miracle grow in my milk.
All I know is that I kept it up for about 8 months and he's a big boy ht. wise and a lean little tike - no extra baby fat on him. It wasn't always easy to do, sometimes it was so hard I just wanted to give up...(got an infection this time, were never had one before) but it was well worth it in the end. Plus even the lactation nurse was very surprised by how big he grew.

If you need to use formula, don't worry. I had to use some now and then when he had a growth spurt and I just didn't have milk ready yet. (had to use a hand pump to keep the flow going, but it was only in the beginning.)
I love to use the Carnation brand, they have the proteins broken down so it's easy on the little tummy. When I weaned my son and daughter off my milk, I had stored a bit extra in the freezer of my milk. Those inserts work great for storing milk - but I would take on bag of my milk and mix with one small can of the Carnation ready mix - instead of adding water to it.
Their doctor said that it was a really good idea because it made the switch over easier on their system. You just have to watch the amount of saved milk to be sure you use enough to equal the right amount of water. Running a bag under warm water thaws it fairly well.

LOL here I am going on like an old hen - you most likely know this all already. Don't mind me, I tend to be Mum to a bunch of "others" besides my own. But I'm hoping that that legal issue is moving along, you really need support in that area. No one should have to deal with that sort of insensitivity when it's supposed to be a wonderful experience. Those responsible need their feet held to the fire to expose their ways and pay for the trauma they caused.

No young mother should be treated like this, those barbarians should have their behaviors reprimanded for doing something like this. I still recall the look on the doctor's face when he came in to check on me when I was having my daughter. She was being stubborn - she couldn't make up her mind if she wanted out or not. (She's still is stubborn and indecisive - at 18!)
He looked at me, squatting on the bed with my coach and gal pal supporting me so I wouldn't fall and me shifting my position to get her to have no choice but to come down and out when the contractions hit.
He said,"What do you think your doing?"
I said,"Having a baby! We've you been? Wanna catch?"
I said that as I motioned my coach and gf to lean me back and sure enough she was crowning!
Let's just say, he wasn't happy with me. Far as I was concerned - tough - I was there to have a kid, not at their convenience but when I felt it was time.
I swear these doctors have such a high opinion of themselves. I actually told one doctor who had the nerve to tell me that he knew best (this after I'd had several kids) that he wasn't around when I got in this condition, and if he wanted anything to do with the end of it - he'd better dang well stick around for it. Cause I wasn't going to wait for him if it was time. If he missed it it wasn't my fault.
Gee, it's a wonder that I find any that will put up with me. Oddly enough, I've had a few that found me refreshing, amusing and a couple even backed me up against a few overzealous types.

I wish that I could take that terrible experience away, leaving only the wonderful memory of having a beautiful child - young mothers should not have to suffer mess ups like these, it's not right.

Please let me know how things go, as well as how you and the little one are doing. Enjoy the weekend together...stay warm and bright blessings to keep you both safe...

 in response to Mimzy...   ohh yes I love more than anything i was very happy ready I always wanted a big family but it's not the case for me :( it's just me and my angel and he's everything i ever wanted...
when i was 12 i use to tell my grandmother i want to havee 6 kids or more because i was the only child and i always wanted to have sister or brother never got chance to have one...thank you for all the comment and please keep in touch

 in response to shina...   You are welcome

 in response to shina...   Well you enjoy that little one and before you think of having another, you make sure that not only are both of you ready, but that you have all the knowledge you need to pick out a good place to have your baby.
So many forget that where you have a child is just as important as the doctors and staff. There are birthing centers, there are hospitals that have midwives and there are different options available depending upon what you want the experience to be like.

If I could have afforded it, I would have tried to go with a water birthing. It's less stressful, more relaxed...the lights are dimmed and the water and room warmed. There is more involvement with the birth, it's more of a natural experience since the water and crouching shortens the labor and delivery, it's less harsh since you are supported by the water. The baby comes out into warm water, not cold air and bright lights, there is a time for holding and if it's done in a birthing center the doctor is there to do what needs to be done. It's very different from what I've had...so I don't know it first hand...but I wish I could have.

But then I'm built to be a mom, lol I've had all but a couple of my babes born in less than 5 hrs from the water breaking to having them. Each had their issues, often I was rather opinionated about what was going on and that I wanted different. Which is why having a labor plan in writing is a good idea. It tells the staff what you want and what you don't want. And if they do something wrong you can call them out on it.
Try to get a midwife or a coach to be with you for a birthing. Because if some overzealous nurse ups the demerol you may get sleepy and not be able to think. It's good to have someone keeping an eye on those people. Don't let them get away with anything.

I told one gal if she touched that line one more time I was going to get her kicked out of the room. The doctor looked over and asked what was wrong - I told him, I don't want too much meds - that it's bad for both me and the baby and if she couldn't follow my requests in my plan I didn't want her in the room. The doctor looked at me and then told her to leave.

I've had mine with very little meds, a bit of demerol to take the edge off...but since I only have 5 hours I know that I can deal with it. My largest child was a boy...11 lbs. 9oz. 20" long and the only reason I had a problem (which I complained to the doctor about and he had them raise the back of my table some.) was being almost flat on my back. How am I supposed to push with nothing to push against (stupid knee braces..worthless) and trying to push uphill against gravity... He got stuck due to a chest that was 15 3/4" while his head had been 13 1/3" in size. The doctor was going up and down trying to pop a shoulder. When one came out it was such a surprise that he played greased pig with my son almost to the floor! Needless to say my son didn't have a very friendly look on his face when this guy put him down across my thigh (he was too big to put below) to take care of the cord and flick his feet to make him cry. He wouldn't. He just jerked his foot and glared at the doctor..lol
But then the nurse came over with the blue bulb and cleaned him out and boy he let everyone know that he did NOT like that! lol
He was my fourth child...and my biggest. My last one was almost but not quite as big...he was only 10 lbs. 3ozs. and 21" long...he got him on length. But my daughter, the older one was 21" too. So he didn't break any other records.
The twins were my smallest, a boy and girl. And then my first son was a bit early, but weighing over 6 lbs helped him to deal with coming out a bit early. He would have been another big one...if he'd stayed in to cook long enough...lol

I've 5 girls, 4 boys - I lost a few, but I also have two adopted kids that fit in as if they are of my own. I also have a bunch of kids that I've helped, tutored and made friends with over the years.

I've 3 grandkids too...and I'm hoping that in the next 5yrs my granddaughter will not make me a Great grandmother. She turns 15 this year...in July. I'm not ready, any more than she is to start that branch of the family tree. lol I'm still raising my youngest who's 8 and younger than all my grandkids. My oldest is in her early 30's, as is the second oldest that is about to turn 30.

I really feel old at the moment...lol

But please do all you can to enjoy your little treasure. My son would encourage you to see if you can get the Your baby can Read program for that little one once you are a bit farther on. He's an advocate for that program - meanwhile, a little classical music would be wonderful for him to listen to. I often played meditation music for my kids as they grew up, while I was carrying them and when they were older. Night time/bedtime was always the time that the soft music went on...to get them ready to sleep.
It helped to relax me too...so it was all good.

I wish you lots of luck and warm wishes on your journey...
enjoy every minute you have with your son...and I hope that you can make sure that no one else has to endure such a birthing by having them called out on what they did. Keep a close eye on your son, forceps deliveries can do damage...where you can't see it some times. Only you will be able to catch it soon enough to make sure he's okay.
Also, educate yourself more than ever before. Learn all you can about what could happen in a forceps delivery. See if there are forums with other mothers that have had this experience and see if they have found any problems rising from this - either in their own or their child's health.
You have a goal, a quest...do all you can to prepare yourself for it. Knowledge is a real power, no one can take it from you. It can be used to defend both yourself and your child. Embrace it and use what you learn...

Again...brightest blessings to you...strength and love - come back if you need us...we can offer some support. But those mothers that have gone through a bad birthing or had a forceps delivery - they can support and back you with experience and resources. Find them...befriend them and learn from them...I wish you well...

thank youuu

 in response to shina...   Hello and I was reading your story. I am so glad your boy is healthy and I hope you can find help for the mess you went through. Mimzy gave you good advice..
Good luck with your baby and your life.
Starshine

 in response to Mimzy...   thank you very much i have called legal aide lawyer and i have sent e-mail to her and i hope that she can help me :) and really i wanted to talk about it i feel much better and your comments are helping me a lot and to be honest Such a bad labor experience mad me afraid to have another baby makes me so sad to say that. I still cry everytime I allow myself to think about my experience. I did end up with the most beautiful, healthy little boy that I love more than anything, but I have a feeling he'll be my first and last.I was so worried about losing him and with the bad labor :S

 in response to shina...   If you look for legal aide in your local area you can google or yahoo search it. The legal aide lawyers can see you, talk with you and maybe give you an idea of who to contact.
These are free lawyers to those that are low income, so I'm sure that they would see you to give you advice.
You just have to find the office that is local. Even an old fashioned phone book will have it in the attorney/lawyer section.

Or if you get any services, food stamps, wic or such - as the worker you see for the number for the local legal aide office.
Hope that helps...and I'm sorry this happened with your first child.

I've always been an advocate for learning all that you can about any and all situations. When I was going to have my first I must have read a half dozen baby/pregger books and every baby mag I could get my hands on.

I figure that if this little life is mine to protect and raise, then I'm going to know how to do it and find out all that I can to protect both myself and that little life. I don't trust bossy doctors.
It's my body, I know plenty about it - if the doctor isn't my partner to help me, then I need a new doctor. It's the doctor's knowledge and my experience (I live inside this body, I better well know what's going on with it. lol) and together we will keep me healthy.

That goes even more so for the little one. I want to know what they are doing, why and what the side effects could be. I will do all I can to make sure that I'm up to date on health care, what's new and what's out of date. Forcing you to wait caused complications and that ended in the dangerous practice of forceps being used. This is even more upsetting since the baby was small and likely a preemie.
I don't understand why they had you deliver when it would have made more sense to stop the contractions, cap you (stop the leakage) and have you on bed rest to give the little one a bit more time inside. It sounds like they messed this up in several ways.

You most definitely need to speak with a lawyer - malpractice lawyer would be best as soon as you can. Not only could you have some damage, but your child may have some problems due to this mess. Especially, if they could have allowed the pregnancy to continue for a bit longer, rather than put both of you into a bad situation.
You weren't dilating because it wasn't time. Leakage can happen, my own doctor would have capped the cervix to keep it from leaking too much. Then prescribe bed rest to make sure that both of you got rest. Keeping that little one inside to grow more would have been the better idea.

I really hope that you can get some help with this. You need to get some advice about this really soon. I'm worried that you and the child need special care. Hope the new doctor will help you out.

Good luck

 in response to Mimzy...   thank you soo much for the message but i dont know any lawyer and you know the weird thing is that she didn't put all this on the papers work one of the nurses she checked me and sad she had 4th degree tear no large tear why the papers are mest up and that nurse was all the time checking it i was ok even when i stated at the nursery with my baby...plus when i want to wic i the told them about what happen they sad omg we're very sorry one of them said normally they have to report this and they have to call us so we can visit you and help you...too be honest it was my first time having baby i was thinking this is all normal
thank you very much for sharing your story and please if you know any think that can help me let me know im going to see different doctor this week so i'll see what's going on

thank youuu very much

I don't know about you personally, but this whole thing stinks. I've had several kids and when the doctors start telling me what to do - I start telling them that I'm the one having the baby and they had better start doing their jobs.

Frankly, I think you should consider having a talk with a legal aide attorney and see what he thinks about this mess. Try to see if you can get a consultation with a lawyer that knows about malpractice.
I think that they handled the whole delivery wrong and that you should not have been made to wait. Babies are supposed to be born NOT when it is convenient for the doctor or staff.

They tried to pull that garbage on me when I had my last child. One of them kept saying to just do a c-section and get it over with. I stated that I didn't want that and do you think that doctor cared? No...she didn't, thankfully I had a doctor that did care and kept those butchers off my back.
I had my son naturally, just as I've had all my others. So this mess that they pulled on you, not right.

You are still in pain and you need to be sure you have all the paperwork and everything you received from them before you went home. You need a lawyer and someone who can help you with this situation.

I wouldn't wait, I'd start looking for legal help right away. The longer you wait, the better chance that they won't get away with this garbage.

Good luck to you and you child